So, I am down in CA for the holidays. I am working out of my in-laws house to try and get stuff done. The boys were supposed to go down for a nap, so I told Rachel to go ahead and go shopping. Of course, neither would sleep so I had the great idea of just heading to McDonalds to work. They can play on the play structure, and I can work in peace... and even get some food. So I had a McRib and pulled out my laptop to work. About 30 min in, my 4 year old screams at me "I gotta go poop!" My two year old is somewhere buried in the playland maze. I yell for him to come out immediately, he says "No Daddy." So what do I do? In a quick judgement, I close my laptop, throw it in my bag, and then just leave my 2 year old, Ben, in the play structure to head for the bathroom. So yes, I apparently value my laptop more than my 2 year old. I then get to the restroom, pull down Lucas' pants, and get it smeared all over my left arm, all over his legs, on the floor, even a bit on the wall... I clean him as fast as I can, then abandon Lucas on the pot to see if Ben has been stolen yet. Mind you, my laptop bag is on my back this whole time. Not even the best trained kidnapper could coax my Ben from this maze- so of course he is still in there. I begin my hostage negotiations and somehow convince him to come out. I think he figured out that something was wrong with Lucas, so he came out. We then headed back to the bathroom. I am sure he is still in there- because I don't care how sick you are, nobody was touching that shit smeared kid. So, I lock the bathroom door and finish the cleaning. Underwear were beyond saving, they got pitched in the trash. Spent about 5 min cleaning it all up without vomiting, although I felt worst for Ben. He kept saying "Daddy! I want out! I don't want to smell Lucas!" It was so much fun. Despite it being a nightmare... I still think the previous McDonald's crap my pants experience was worse...